This has been an important project to me and I am so excited to start getting more serious about launching it and trying to make something of it. The Zodiac Angels were originally started when I was 39-40 weeks pregnant with my beautiful son, Miles. I had a burst of creative energy during my anticipation for him being born soon. I started with what became the Pisces, my original idea was to make a little stuffed animal that was unique for my son. At the time, his due date was March 17th, so since I didn't know what his favorite color would be, animal, etc. I just went with his birthday, his Zodiac sign, and birthstone colors.
After I made the Pisces, I was really happy with what I had made and wanted to make more. Instead of just making the same thing again, I made another random design that was based on clouds, since March is a cloudy time of year.
After completing those two, I wanted to think of names for them. I wanted to pick names that weren't too hard to remember, and names that made sense, so that I could teach them to Miles someday.
Looking at them next to each other, the first one really looked like Pisces and the second one was Aquarius. I realized that I could make all the signs of the Zodiac at that point and it could be a fun game for Miles someday. It would have been a great game to help him remember names with shapes and colors, and it was something that was kinda educational, but not really, so it could still be fun. ;) :P
So I began thinking about what I would do for the other ten signs. My pregnancy was quite stressful at this time, I had pre eclampsia, I had gained over 70 pounds, and I was becoming overdue. So this project became a great way for me to not stress and enjoy something during a time when I was in constant pain and uncomfortable.
Leo - based on a Lion, a Sunflower, the Summer, and fire colors
Gemini - based on a bunny, a butterfly, and a clown
Scorpio - based on a scorpion, a shark, deep underwater sea creatures
Taurus - based on a bull, forest pixie, leaf and tree, forest colors
Virgo - based on a flower, a bunny rabbit, the forest
Sagittarius - based on centaur/horse, flames, the archer
Capricorn - sea goat, a dinosaur, water and forest
Libra - an Owl, the Fall, Autumn, Equality (since Libra is the balancing scales)
Cancer - It was one of the last ones I did because it was my own sign. I didn't want it to be too much like me but a little bit was okay. Because I know not all Cancers are like me and I'm not like all Cancers. lol. so I went with a design based on a crab, the summer, the beach
The last one I made was Aries.
A fire-colored Ram. He looks a little devillish! But a sweetheart underneath that bold outward look ;)
So, looking through these photos I realize I actually completed them before Miles's original due date. These pictures were taken March 15th 2013.
March 17th came and past and I still did not have my son. My son was born on March 25th, 2013 at 7:00pm. I was 41 weeks pregnant and about 80 pounds heavier than I had ever been in my life. I ended up having a 38 hour labor and a crash cesarean, but after near death experiences, my son and I were okay for the time being.
My Zodiac Angels sat in a basket by the window, which my son would look at from time to time, but it was to be a gift for him when he got older.
Unfortunately God had other plans for my son and I was not able to keep him in my arms. Instead he's in my heart and my memory and in Heaven... My son will forever be the missing part of my heart.
June 7th, 2013 was the day God took him away. At 7:46 am due to unknown causes, aka SIDS. He had no physical defects and I still don't have answers why my baby boy isn't here with me
It's something I live with every day but I don't share my story for sympathy's sake. It's simply what happened and it's my life, not only that but it's my son. Because he was only here for 2 months and 2 weeks I need to make sure his memory is kept alive. The minute I found out about him I had it in my mind that for the rest of my life, my baby boy was going to be part of it. A big part. Basically all of it (until Little Brother or Sister is born, that is. Then he will have to learn how to share)
So even though he's not here physically, I know he's here spiritually and in my heart and my mind. What happened to me has happened to others and happens to others all the time, and I can't even begin to explain to you how that makes me feel. I wish this never had to happen to anyone for any reason. I hope someday there are more answers and more information as to why this happens and what can be done to stop it from happening.
My life changed forever, so many times, in such a short amount of time. The one thing that never ever will change is how much I love my son Miles and I dedicate everything I do to him. Which brings me back to this project...
It's a way to help me keep him alive. I feel like since he didn't get to enjoy it, maybe another kid will. And maybe, this is just me being really out there, but maybe, someday, I would be able to raise money not only to support this project, not only to give myself some breathing room in life, but also to be able to donate to a reputable foundation that might find answers for people like me, or a place that helps people who are going through severe grief, to fund grief support projects, etc. I want this project to somehow help a meaningful cause to me, such as Grief. I know it would help with my own grief as well.
I want to take this project beyond myself. I want it to flourish and become something great. I may not know yet how to do that, but I figure a blog is a good place to start.
I have a lot of material created for this project already. I'm happy with the designs I have, and although the backstory isn't yet written officially, I have a good idea of what it is. This project is very open, though. I have a few new and different ideas for adding on to it, but the basic 12 Zodiac Angels remain central and they are what this is about. Those 12 characters are my son's friends and they have a bit of his spirit in them. I want to share the magic and maybe you can see why they are so special to me. :)
